pretty pastel flowers
by nashiro
Summary: A bouquet of flowers, Yoriko's question―("Do you want to get married, Touka-chan?")―it somehow leads to the realization that yes, Kirishima Touka has mushy feelings.
1. pink flowers are nice

_a/n: :^)_  
 _disclaimer: disclaimed af._  
pink flowers are nice.―

Kirishima Touka refused to acknowledge the fact that she was beginning to be a little too fond of Kaneki Ken.

She refused to acknowledge it because, for one, things might become awkward between them. The type of awkward that only happened in books, of course. Which would be very bad. On a side note, she wasn't exactly sure about her feelings.

(She was fairly sure they were romantic feelings.)

In her life, she had never had time for a romantic relationship. Between concealing her identity as a ghoul, working as a waitress at Anteiku, and school, she didn't see where she could fit in time for that.

If Touka bothered to consult Yoshimura about the topic, she had a feeling he'd make her a cup of coffee and smile at her. Give her some mysterious answer, or say, "Do what you wish, Touka-chan." Or something along the lines of that.

On the other hand, there was always Yoriko. Though, Yoriko had the wrong idea about she and Kaneki anyways―where would it get her to ask for advice? Maybe Yoriko would just shove a bowl of food in her hands and tell her to give it to him.

Touka rubbed her forehead, scowling at the pile of homework on her desk. A small pile of homework, albeit, but still a pile of homework. At the moment, she didn't have time to think of boys or her relationship with Kaneki.

Not when there was a homework to be done, because she'd had Yoshimura call her in sick for the past few days. She didn't bother going to Anteiku for her shift, either. Yoshimura had called her about that, and she'd said that she was unable to empty her stomach of Yoriko's cooking and it was taking a toll on her health.

He'd believed her. (Or he hadn't bothered to say something.)

And it was the partial truth, at least.

.

.

.

The dreaded day had come when Touka had to pull herself out of bed, clean herself up, shove the homework in her bag, and go to school.

The day otherwise known as Monday.

Yoriko had been the same as always―chatty, bright, a distraction from all the gloom and doom that seemed to surround her when she left Yoriko's company. It was a relief that Yoriko was a constant pillar of stability for the past few years.

It was an even bigger relief when Yoshimura had called to inform her that she was being given the day off. Because of her health and how much she needed to stay at top health, to avoid anymore sick days.

But, it meant she was stuck sitting still in her room, trying to sleep. And ignore the homework on her desk. Wait for Hinami to come home, bright and happy, carefree. Touka wondered how she was like that, especially so soon after losing her parents.

Very, very, very close to falling asleep, somebody knocked on the door.

She sat up and blinked a few times, before shoving the blankets aside and walking to the door. She was surprised that it wasn't Yoriko, but instead saw Kaneki.

He was still wearing his uniform, which meant he'd just gotten off his shift. She glanced down, at the bouquet of flowers in his hands.

(...did he?)

(Yes, he did.)

"Touka-chan?"

She blinked at him, and then dumbly replied, "Yeah?"

Kaneki shifted, then raised up the bouquet of flowers, almost shyly. "You haven't been at Anteiku for awhile, so I bought you some flowers in the hope they'd help you feel better."

What.

A bouquet of flowers?

Touka broke eye contact with him for a moment, glancing down at the bouquet of flowers in his hands.

Yes. Definitely a bouquet of flowers.

For her.

Touka blinked at the flowers, then looked at him. He was smiling, and looked a tiny bit hesitant. His gaze was fixed on her nose, and the one eye that was covered with an eyepatch shone in the light.

 _(Damn it, Kirishima. Stop overthinking and take the damn flowers.)_

"Oh," Touka said quietly. She leaned back, trying not to blush. Well, maybe she did blush. (She probably did and was in denial about it.) "Thank you, Kaneki."

It sounded like a question.

Touka awkwardly took the bouquet of flowers from him when he held them up, and she thought his smile got a bit wider. It was really hard not to smile, especially when he looked so adorable.

"I hope to see you tomorrow, Touka-chan!" Kaneki said enthusiastically. "Well, I hope you're feeling better by then."

"Thank you for the flowers, Kaneki." She shifted her gaze downwards, looking at the flowers. Pretty pink, purple, yellow, and blue flowers that looked watercolor. "I'm sure Hinami-chan will love them."

Touka hoped it wasn't her imagination when his smile faltered for a moment.

"Okay, bye, Touka-chan!" he said enthusiastically.

The enthusiasm sounded forced. Touka regretted her words about Hinami liking the flowers.

She watched as Kaneki stepped back and turned around, walking away. Frowning, Touka closed the door and placed the flowers of the table, searching for a vase.

(Of course, Touka didn't miss the card that was attached to the flowers.)

She untied the ribbon holding the flowers together and placed them in the vase, card sitting on the table. Touka filled the vase with water and placed it on the table, then picked up the card and went back to her room.

.

.

.

 _Touka-chan,_

 _I hope you feel better soon! Everyone at Anteku misses you, including me._

 _Your friend,  
_ _Kaneki Ken_


	2. i like white flowers, too

_a/n: this is a mess i'm so sorry_  
white instead of pink.―

"Touka-chan, do you want to get married?"

For a moment, all Kirishima Touka did was blink. Was Yoriko serious? They're third-years, yes, and the only major thing that should be on Yoriko's mind was which college she was planning on going to. As far as Touka was concerned, marriage could wait later.

As a ghoul, Touka was fairly sure that the opportunity to get married would never present itself. Most ghouls never had the opportunity to get married, and those that did were usually of higher class. The ones who weren't immediately threatened by the CCG.

Besides, she didn't really like the idea of getting married. Big, white wedding dresses seemed like too much hassle. Walking down the aisle, flowers in one hand and her father's arm in the other…

Nobody was there to pass her off, give her away, however it was phrased. She doubted Ayato would do it, and bothering Yomo or Yoshimura to do it was like the wedding dress―it was too much of a hassle.

"Touka-chan?"

She blinked. "Oh, sorry, Yoriko. What was your question?"

Touka heard Yoriko's soft laughter over the phone. "Do you want to get married? I understand if you don't want to answer the question―"

"It's fine." I think. "I don't know if I want to get married. Being with somebody who loves me enough to stay with me forever sounds good enough, ring or not."

Not that she'd have the chance to find that person, of course.

(She didn't think of Kaneki. Not even.)

"Oh, alright, the, Touka-chan," Yoriko said, sounding a bit depressed. "Do you have the answer to question thirteen on our classical literature worksheet?"

Touka frowned. "Before I tell you, do you want to get married?"

Yoriko was silent for a long time, and Touka wondered for a moment if she'd hangen up.

Then, "I think I'd like to get married, actually. You'd be my maid of honor, or bridesmaid, Touka-chan. Now, what about the answer?"

.

.

.

No, Touka didn't want to get married.

Maybe she'd get married if her significant other got down on one knee and proposed, but...

Touka closed her eyes and sighed.

"Are you feeling okay, Touka-cha― _OW_!"

Oops.

Grimacing, Touka rubbed her forehead, then looked at Kaneki. It wasn't her fault she'd headbutted him. On accident, of course.

It was his fault for catching her unaware, obviously.

"Sorry, Touka-chan."

She scowled at him. "Watch what you're doing next time!"

Kaneki nodded, rubbing his forehead.

Before she could think better of it, Touka swatted his hand away and pulled him down to her height before pressing a kiss to his forehead. He pulled back and she released her grip, watching as he slowly turned red.

"Touka-ch―"

 _"If you speak a word of this to anybody, I will kill you, Kaneki Ken."_

Threatening Kaneki usually her day a little bit better, but this time she felt guilty about the horror that flitted across his face. The guilt didn't go away completely, even when she insulted Koma's bow-tie to cheer herself up.

.

.

.

The more Touka thought about it, the more she came to the realization that she didn't want to get married.

She could never promise someone that, honestly.

Who knew when she'd fuck up and the CCG would get her? Touka didn't. Marriage was a life-long commitment, and really, did ghouls have the time to do things like that?

Nope.

The best she could do was make sure Hinami was okay, especially since losing her parents had come across as a shock.

"Hey, Kaneki," she said, wiping down a table.

"Yes, Touka-chan?" came the quiet response.

Touka frowned at the table. "Do you ever think you'll get married?"

Kaneki was silent for a long time, just like Yoriko had been. She took the opportunity to wipe down the other tables and nearly jumped when he spoke.

"I don't think I ever will."

"Neither will I, Kaneki," Touka said slowly.

At least she could be old and unmarried with someone―if she ever got old, that is. Considering the recent activity in the 20th Ward, she kind of doubted she would get old.

.

.

.

Kaneki put his pen down with an annoyed sigh. "Touka-chan, you're distracting me."

She looked over her shoulder to glare at him. "I'm asking you your opinion on marriage."

He shrugged.

"Come on, Kaneki."

"...I don't think I have an opinion, Touka-chan. Marriage is okay, I guess. If I'm ever with somebody long enough to get around to proposing, then I guess I would get married."

Touka groaned and returned to cleaning the coffee cups.

Neither spoke for awhile, Kaneki being too engrossed in writing an essay to hold a conversation. She occupied her time with cleaning coffee cups and talking to Irimi.

Eventually, Irimi handed her the keys and said, "I'm heading out early. Tell the manager for me, Touka?"

"Yeah, Irimi-san."

She watched as Irimi left to change, then turned her attention to the only other person in the coffee shop.

"Hey, Kaneki."

He narrowed his eyes at his essay, sighed, then put down his pen and shifted in his chair to face her. "What is it?"

Touka narrowed her eyes at him. "Do you think you'll ever find somebody who's going to stay with you long enough to get married?"

He blinked at her, then quickly said, "No," and turned back to his essay.

Touka's lips twitched upwards into a smile. "Thought so."

 _We're on the same page, then._

.

.

.

It was cold.

Touka absolutely hated the cold, but she guessed it was better than the heat. She hated sweat, and all the uncomfortable things that accompanied summer. Like unsticking her legs from a chair. Ugh.

(Today, it was cold. She wanted to grab him and demand why he was born on such a cold day.)

She walked along the pathway, leaves crunching underneath her boots. Touka wasn't fond of visiting the place, but she guessed it was either this or sit down and offer a prayer.

He wasn't dead, and she needed to get out a little bit more. Yomo sometimes nagged at her, about how her physical condition was deteriorating. She usually ended up snapping at him about his physical condition, and Hinami would look between them and ask them to calm down.

The main reason she came there was because he was special.

Touka exhaled and squatted down in front of the grave. She knew there wasn't a body there.

"Kaneki," she said quietly, placing the bouquet of flowers at the foot of the grave.

 _Pastel-colored flowers. Watercolor._

"Hinami misses you. I feel like she's planning on going to Aogiri, or just.."

Touka frowned and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"I feel like Hinami's getting ready to leave Yomo-san and I. She's been avoiding us more often, and I think it's her way of detaching herself from us."

She clamped her mouth shut and closed her eyes. _Damn_ , it was cold. She hoped she didn't get sick, because that would suck.

"Shitty Kaneki, I wish you had decided not to be a selfish asshole and leave."

There was no response. Touka didn't expect one.

"I know you said you never wanted to get married, but…"

Touka reached forward and adjusted the flowers.

"Maybe, if you'd stayed alive at Anteiku, I think I'd stay with you long enough to get married."

She got to her feet, sucking in a breath at the sudden rush of blood going through her legs. She should get going, before Yomo or Hinami came looking for her.

.

.

.

Two years later, she sees him.

In a Dove's white coat.


End file.
